54: RANT

eugh my life is so lame these days. i completely loathe my so called "friend" gosh we used to have so much fun together. now she's bloody whipped, minor slut.

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i don't like waiting around afterschool as much. i get so peeved at dumb stuff that my friends do out there. it's so random to stand around hugging a greasy fool for 5 friggin' minutes. i think some of the girls in my school get excited that they know boys, like a privelige. WTTFFF?! yeah some are cool but .. chill out. gawwwd do it where i won't gag.

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my oh my. i'm female dog'd

source: the olivia lo

52: MOTHERLOAD

hey mum, it's your day. dad, mum and i had a good feed at this stonegrill place. they made uss cook our own raw meat on a hot brick. pretty good i guess, i was just freaking out that i wouldn't cook it enough and you know..pass out. have a good one mum.

-

eugh you, you have the ability to suck everything good out of me. leaving dry bitter remains. you really do, give yourself a pat on the back. i nearly felt sorry for you because you're so desperate for unnecessary acceptance that you find the ones who truly cared as competition.. and so you assasinate us, one by one.

by god you're a low one.

51: TIRED

okay, so i really hate you. i'm immature and young. i think you take everything from me. i get the feeling like you're stealing my personality and my identity. i'm being immature and irrational but i don't care. you need to show me up. all. the. time. you never stop, honestly. you already won in every single catergory. not that i compete but you have every area down. you're loaded, skinny, pretty, hot bod, guys drool when you're next to me. i hate having to put your selfish feelings before mine. i'm not being conceited i swear it's just..i've put up with you since we in primary. i'm just tired of being your doormat.

50: SOMETHING

i think andy was on the right track with this. my eyes were inseperable from your whole existence and now it's hard to look through your eyes. this sucks. you suck. she sucks. you suck for thinking she doesn't suck. i suck for thinking something was really there. i'm as stupid as a dopekid. that's pretty cool though, being a dopekid but yeah the point is that i'm an idiot.

JANUARY THE 20TH

on my birthday i didn't wake up to this but i did have a big day with my sister. sometimes she can be on pms 24/7 but other times she can be the best. MY FRIENDS ARE BESTEST BEST BEST PEOPLE I KNOW. and might i add the best surprise party specialists! *hint hint. saturday was sweet guys, love you's!

48: SICK SICK SUCK

my summer vacation can be put into three words. nothing, sick, boredom. what ever happened to suddenly change the mood of holidays? lately i've been getting sick week after week. i stay home everyday and watch my sisters go in and out of the front door. i seen these 4 walls forever. your friends become different people the longer you've been away. was it me who changed or them? uugh this is sounding so sappy and gay. fml

47: RULES

rules. i know this will sound selfish but i think my sister and i have it worse than other kids. fun with my friends is so complicated even when they're not even in the country. sometimes i think my mother is watching me do stuff secretly and that makes me terrified. damn asian parents. fml fml fml

46: I MISS

being sick isolates you from the world. i miss my friends, fresh air, fun, normal food. i have absolutely nothing to do at home. i'm left to mope around having the same routine. i wake up. eat. tv. eat. computer. text. eat. shower. eat. tv. sleep. i'm never gonna fit my jeans now :( i'm sooo bored out of my mind i start looking for random things. i'm going to be sick on my birthday. life is the best. so is sarcasm.

45: SUMMER

i'm happy, school's out for the summer. do i need to say anymore than that? right now i'm feeling like a child who ate the cake..GOOD GOOD GOOD. all i want is to feel the sun's kisses run down my skin and my friends giving me much much love. my goal this summer is to pulverise that killerbuzz that lies within my brain. i'm going to change this summer, for the best.

44: WHY WHY WHY SWEET DELILAH

friends boys yourself.

so damn difficult. so damn confusing. so damned.

friends do stupid things, boys have stupid things done to them, you feel like it's all happening to you.

the world does not revolve around you, remember that janine. if you don't know this then you should get ready for some deep sh--

i hate how everyone acts like the miniscule detail in a small conversation turns out to be the key to the question that they've been (fake) wondering the whole time. if you wanted to know so badly why couldn't you just be there instead of being such a pussy and begging me. i hate you for that. i really do, sometimes it's hard to look at the side i know is my best friend because of the massive bitch that's staring me down.

43: GRR GRR GRR

I HATE HATE HATE it when people do things out of impulse and it's so random and inappropriate. asking stupid stupid questions! it make everyone especially me feel like shit and uncomfortable. fuck fuck i'm really pissed off at you even if you don't read this. i'm gonna change my voice or atleast try to control it. not for singing ew just because i know it sounds really annoying sometimes when i talk to people. i sound like The Nanny. gross

42: SECURITY

can you be a different person around someone and switch in an instant to another? i wonder that everyday when i'm with my friends. i see them change personalities towards that one girl that isn't so pretty. i wonder if i do it too and i hope to whoever that i stop. thing is i have no idea if i do. i wish lying didn't exist or i could read minds so i'd know what they really thought. i really hate the judgement that's thrown on your face and left to linger in your mind. it makes you so insecure to everyone around you even your best friends. i hope i've never judged but i know for certain that i always do. everyone does and it's natural but it doesn't stop the way it hurts right? bleh this depressing shit is bringing my vibe down, deep thinking sucks

41: LABOUR DAY

i'm feeling happy but my lips are a bit chappy. weather is bringing the whole country down that's

okay! good day good day good day good day

in this city - iglu & hartly

40: HANDS

today was a pretty pretty day. i had nice one on one with a friend of mine we just gushed about randoms. yeah afterschool was kind of quiet..thank goodness it didn't rain 'cause that would have just ruined my cousin's bday! HAPPY 16th PARTY HARD!

sooo didn't get to be on t.v 'cause it was a technical difficulty and stuff but i'm not upset 'cause i don't want the whole of aotearoa my bad tan! on the school field 478 girls held hands in a circle :DD it was reaaal big, i think we were supposed to form a heart FAIL.

It's labour weekend which means one more day to laze off! i think i'm going to a party, i'm not sure about the plan. supposed to go to armageddon but cancelled at the last minute. GAH I HATE SAVING MONEY! but right now i have to since my parents are making me pay for the places i go to with my friends in an attempt to lessen my schedule. nice try but you can't slow down an adolescent ;)

i'm thinking of dying my hair this summer, what d'you reckon?

39: RELIEF

WOW! you have no idea how glad i am that my exams are over. it was horrible, because i studied for all the wrong things! ew yuck i'm sneezing and sweezing just thinking about it bleeh. just wondering..don't you hate it when you know someone but when you pass them you look the other way. isn't that how you make friends? you know by talking to them and asking questions and ladaladala? yeeah so janine just had an epiphany swweee! i really hate it when people play tricks. but life is good good good except for war and drugs..but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it yeah?

38: CASTLES

happy birthday caitlin! her birthday party was really fun there was a bouncy castle! courtney had to hold a sign up at sturges road saying "TOOT IF I'M HOT" i helped out. a big sucess, this one car packed with uni boys honked a gazilion times, so did the truckers! fully crazy

37: JUST NOTICED MY LAST BLOGPOSTS ARE SOO EMO AND PATHETIC, DW I'LL STOP

i'm listening to lady sovereign. i loooove brits when they talk, sing or rap, it's sounds so badass like literally! my first day of school was actually really fun, and after was hilarious too. overall i'm feel light and free but one word changes this E X A M S! need i say more? i think i'll just hide around behind a tree..

36: BETTER

i feel like going on a shopping spree. i need a car. i need to be 16. i need some money. i need some company. i need to get new colorful skinny jeans now that mine have been worn by someone else and now it's branded HERS to human eyes. the only thing good here is that i'm getting new jeans. FML

35: DSKJDGSJKDG

SHE IS SO PREHISTORIC!

I SWEAR I WILL EXPLODE

34: SWEET

got money today, not much but good money all the same. not sure what to do with it, but i'll find a way. so janine what'd you do today? today, me and my sister tore away cleaning our rooms and the whole house. for reason just a feeling. while doing the whole shindig i found hello kitty bag with cards. valentines, christmas, birthday and easter all for me. i didn't know most of them very well but it brought back fluttery memories when i got them. the way we were all so young and oblivious of the card really meant. so yeah i had a good day. weather is not too great though. lets cross our fingers that tomorrow will be much much better.